The good old times

The word nostalgia may probably be one of the most frequently expressed words. Though the word is often associated with the elderly people it is applicable to all age groups. Nostalgia can be experienced during any life transition periods. For example, it may be experienced when teenagers are entering adulthood, or when middle-aged people are transitioning into senior citizens. It may also been experienced very strongly during any other major changes in life, such as, change of residence, a shift to some other city or country, etc.          In simple words (the contemporary meaning of the word) nostalgia can be considered to be an act of looking back upon our pasts and re-experiencing the bitter-sweet moments.  We can look back and recollect some fond memories, or our act of looking back can also bring back flashes of some traumatic experiences in the past. So, in a way, when we look back we need to be careful about what sort of experiences or emotions we are about to invite in our present life.

Human beings have a tendency of looking back upon their pasts. In a way, revisiting our past is like going back to our basics. Going back to our past is often very spontaneous. One song you listen to may take you back to some particular summer vacations during your school days. Some specific fragrance may gently take you back to that final year of college when your girlfriend or boyfriend used to wear a similar perfume. It might be just a fleeting visit to that past event, but all the emotions and feelings are re-experienced with almost the same intensity. It seems as if we are actually reliving that moment in the present.

In the Greek mythological story when Orpheus looked back prematurely he had to lose his wife forever. He paid a really heavy price for looking back. Luckily in our day-to-day lives looking back upon our lives does not have such drastic outcomes.

All of us tend to think of our pasts very frequently. It is a human tendency, and only humans have this ability of revisiting their past memories.

As mentioned earlier, our visit back to our past may be a spontaneous act, or it may also be done deliberately.

When we re-visit our past deliberately or consciously it can have a lot of therapeutic value.  
Catharsis: Reliving or re-experiencing certain difficult or negative situations from our past may actually help bring about catharsis. It is important that we re-experience this past situation by looking at it dispassionately and from a fresh perspective. If we persevere in this activity we may gradually realize that that intensity of the emotions experienced in those past situations is slowly getting reduced.  

Insightfulness: Usually our life experiences keep on making us wiser. A situation that seemed unsurmountable at a certain period of time in the past may no longer seem so. When we look at certain problematic situations of the past with our current wisdom and potentials we are likely to get new insights. Now, with our new insights, these past situations may no longer seem to be much of a problem. This, in turn helps reduce our past baggage.  

Solutions to current problems: There might be certain situations in our present life where we are feeling stuck. We are not being able to manage them effectively and this is proving to be really stressful. In such a scenario, a careful scrutiny of our past may actually provide with a few examples where we had been able to overcome similar problems successfully. In all these years we had just forgotten about these successful moments. The only thing we need to do now is apply those same techniques to our current situations.  

Rekindling old relationships: Just as we are getting wiser about our life experiences, we are also getting wiser about our relationships. We may have had some conflicts or misunderstandings with certain people in our school or college days. With our current wisdom and outlook we may actually realize that these misunderstanding had arisen out of immaturity rather than some really genuine reasons. You now get a chance to rekindle these relationships. Similarly, we may have had some really wonderful connection with some people in the past. As we got busy with us lives we may have just forgotten about these connections. When we look back at our lives we may actually recollect these connections and then we are likely to take an effort to reconnect with these people. These connections may prove to be beneficial in the present.  

De-stressing effect: Sometimes it is really relaxing to just relive those beautiful moments. Some moments when we were really happy and relaxed. Some family outings or school reunions that we might have attended. Recollecting some wonderful people that you had in your lives may also make you feel really happy in the present moment. Scanning through our old photo albums might be a really good activity to help reduce our present stress, at least temporarily.    

Regaining our motivation: Whenever we start feeling demotivated or disappointed in our present life it really helps to look back on all our achievements and successes. It makes us more confident in ourselves and we are once again ready to face our life challenges with renewed vigour and positivity.

Tackling our illnesses more effectively: Sometimes we might find ourselves suffering from some physical or mental illnesses. There is a chance that even in the past we had faced these situations. Back then we might have found some effective solutions for these illnesses, may be on our own or with some external help. However, as we got busy with our lives again we might have forgotten some important aspects of our recovery process. Re-visiting these past situations may help us tackle the current illnesses much more effectively. Similarly, if we take some cues from our past, we might be able to become aware of a mental illness before it turns into a full blown episode. For example, you might have had suffered from depression in the past. If in the present you look back at the depression symptoms you experienced, it is very likely that you will become aware of an impending depressive episode. Once you become aware, timely intervention is likely to help control this episode much more effectively.

Thus, if we understand the ‘when and how to’ look back it can be a really wonderful tool to help us enhance our present lives. In all the above scenarios our past experiences prove to be beneficial due to the fact that we were in total control of them, and though we were looking at our pasts we were firmly rooted in the present.  In short, we were taking our past experiences merely as some important life lessons.

Some people have a habit of constantly looking back and ruminating over their pasts. They have a tendency to keep on comparing between the present and past. They keep on missing their past life-experiences and relationships. They keep on continuously looking for opportunities to get on a journey back in time. Rather than looking for what they have gained, they keep on mulling over things that have lost or are missing in their present lives. Such people can be considered to be stuck in the past. They are very unlikely to find any real happiness or pleasure in their present lives. In such a scenario their present lives are likely to be mere flashbacks of their past. They may find it difficult to make much progress in their lives. They will neither be focused in the present nor will they be able to plan their future effectively. These are the times when people need to realize that it is time to seek some professional help.

Thus, whether we look back in anger or whether we look back in contentment is completely a choice! If we look back in contentment we are also likely to invite contentment in the present. Gratitude and forgiveness are the two important qualities we need to carry with us while making this travel back in time.    

Amit Joshi 

Consulting Psychologist

You can mail me at info@mentalhealthguidance.in